Christmas 2019
If there is a bright center to the universe, Highlands Ranch is the place about 3.12 parsecs away from it. Greetings from your favorite Jedi- Byron, Toni, Nolan and Kyra. Ok, we’re only pretend Jedi. The homeowners association is very against plasma weapons. We are, however, very excited for the new movies and tv series, and as a result this Christmas letter may have some serious spoilers in it. Yep, we did Star Wars in 2015, too, but then again, so did Disney. See all the letters at mychristmasletters.com. We’re keeping this one, short, sweet, and late. Lots of things in our life were “meh,” we’re a bit overwhelmed, and just getting this thing out the door and in your hands before 1/1 will be a major accomplishment.
Spoiler #1
Toni Wan Kenobi, tired of constantly training young Jedi every day, having her hours cut by the Jedi Training Academy, and feeling her powers were under appreciated, finally set out on a mission to find a new employer who’d appreciate all her Jedi powers. Bouncing from one employer to another in a maneuver often referred to as “temping,” Toni Wan finally landed a new job with building management firm as their “Director of First Impressions.” Toni loves the new job. Toni answers the phone, greets people, routes mail, fills the candy dish, and feels for disturbances in the force; but has not once had to draw her saber on an unruly guest.
Spoiler #2
Scruffy Nerf Herder Byron set out multiple times over the last year to visit the ice planet Hoth or Madison WI. Byron’s new recruits to the resistance are in Madison, so Byron now grabs a ride with various unsavory characters (United, Frontier, Delta, etc.) to visit on a fairly regular basis. One winter trip found the temperature to be minus 30 degrees. Byron had to split a Taun-taun open to stay warm. Fortunately, later in the year, Madison was warm and inviting enough for Toni Wan Kenobi to rendezvous with Byron for some brief weekend visits to see some of the attractions, the Ski Hoth Apple Farm for Mandorian cider, Devil’s Lake State Park, and some of the universe’s finest architectural buildings from Hoth’s own Frank Lloyd Wright.
Spoiler #3
In May, Kyra graduated from Resistance college at Colorado State University! Her parents, who encouraged her to never leave Tatooine, to stay and work the farm, and to earn the binary language of moisture evaporators, are extremely
proud. She graduated with a degree in communications, which ironically continues to come in handy while attempting to communicate with potential employers. She’s had a few nibbles, but no big bite from any Colo Claw Fish or Opee Sea Killer. While looking, Kyra’s currently working at Target where part of her job is ACTUALLY selling lightsabers. Kyra also plans to take the Foreign Service Officer test in January- we think she’d be a great “diplomat” shuttling around to other galaxies, meeting slightly maladjusted young men destined to rebel against their Jedi masters- you know.
Spoiler #4
Nolan Ferguson, continues his studies in Aerospace Engineering at the University of Colorado. Year 5 will mark the end of the long wait- Byron’s been collecting scrap metal in the backyard so Nolan can build Dad a working Millenium Falcon. Mark your calendars- we’re hoping lots of friends and family can come in for the big celebration the weekend of May 5, 2020.
Spoiler #5
Even though some of the Ferguson’s are up to their eyeballs in work stuff, mom stuff, and other stuff, the family still took a trip to the “happiest place on earth,” Disney World, at Thanksgiving. Went at Thanksgiving. That’s definitely not the part that makes it the happiest, just the “crowdiest.” For Kyra’s graduation and Nolan’s future graduation, as well as their previous milestone 21st birthday, the two had requested the trip as an alternative to their parents suggestion- Las Vegas. The twins proclaimed Las Vegas was a hive of scum and villainy, hence the change of venue.
Toni rented a big party house and invited practically everyone. Attending were: The Fergusons (Byron, Toni, Kyra, Nolan, and Nolan’s girlfriend Alexis), The Kounses (Cheryl, Chris, Miranda, Faith, and Faith’s husband Dylan), Toni’s Sister Mari and her husband De, Toni’s Nephew Morgan, his wife Ashley, and their two adorable kids- Harrison (huh, wonder who he’s named for), and Owen. The Fergusons attended all the parks, including Star Wars land where they rode the Millenium Falcon. This made Byron even more excited for Nolan’s graduation. It was great to have so many friends and family together, to see little ones enjoying Disney World, and to ride the Millenium Falcon. While the crowds were a bit overwhelming, we still declare the entire endeavor a full success.
Finally, wishing all of yours a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year, whether on the dark side or the light side. May the Force be with you!